


Losing All Over Again

by TheIvySiren



Series: Losing Or Winning, It's Your Way Of Living [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angry Lance (Voltron), Angst, Cheating, Emotional Hurt, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Modern Era, No Romance, Not for long tho..., Pre-Relationship, Sad Ending, Sad Lance (Voltron), Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 14:30:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16327769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIvySiren/pseuds/TheIvySiren
Summary: The name flashed over Shiro's phone screen again and Lance's heart sunk. He tried not to let it bother him at first...maybe it really was just a coincidence.Except it happened again and again and again until it became a routine. A routine for Shiro to leave their apartment at 2 AM every morning to hang out with the person whose name was on the phone screen while Lance broke down in their apartment.[HIATUS}





	1. Chapter 1

 

* * *

 

 

To most people losing wasn't a big deal. After all, life was the type of thing where you lost some and gained some. Sure there were people out there who hated losing more than anything and tried hard, harder than needed really, to make sure they never lost.

The point is, in life, there were moments where you'd lose and that was fine, most people didn't remember their first loses either way. However, in the list of those most people, the name Lance Mcclain was not written down.

Lance could remember when his so-called 'lucky-streak' ran out and he started to lose. It started in middle school when a new kid was transferred to their class in the middle of the year. A surprising fact to most people was the fact that Lance was actually a top student, you really couldn't tell that at all from his personality.

Before the new kid transferred Lance had been getting the highest marks for years! It was just the norm by the time the new kid came along so when he got placed above Lance by a single score, people were more than shocked.

Lance had been shocked as well, but he let it go, 'Hey, losing one time didn't mean anything!'

Except it totally did.

From then on Lance kept on losing and losing all over again. By the time middle school ended the name 'Keith Kogane' was engraved into Lance's memory.

But hey! Middle school finally ended, there was no way they were going to end up in the same high school since Lance's family was moving out of state right? Right!

Unfortunately, Lance learned how wrong he was when he first walked into his classroom and saw the moping mullet-styled head of black hair that haunted his dreams.

From then on, that very same 'moping mullet-styled head of black hair' haunted him in real life too.

Every club he joined, every essay he wrote, every test he took there would always be a certain Keith Kogane that would be above him by one, a single mark and it drove Lance to insanity.

So, to distract himself he started to date, he started openly flirting with people in ways he's never really done before and it was, surprisingly fun! He never expected to feel a rush of emotions, a boost of confidence, every time he made a, be it a man or woman or non binary person blush.

He finally managed to snag himself a great girlfriend and the name Keith Kogane completely slipped from his mind...until it came back to haunt him...again.

The next time the name came, it came in an unexpected way. Really, really unexpected. In fact, it was so unexpected that he had to stop for a second and realize exactly what was going one.

What happened was that his girlfriend, the one he'd been dating for the past four months decided to break up with him. And sure, Lance felt a little hurt by that but it wasn't like he could force her to stay so he just had to go and cry in his room for a while - a week, a month who knows really - and he'd be fine.

But then his girlfriend-well ex-told him something. It started out all right..."Listen, Lance, you've been a great boyfriend and all...but...I met a certain guy a few weeks ago and we just started to get along so well and I just like him TOO much so I decided to break up with you. No harsh feeling all right? By the way, I heard you guys know each other, mind sharing with me some pointers about him? His name's Keith Kogane!"... and ended up horribly.

After that incident, well simply put the same thing happened again...and again...and again! Like a fuckin' record player that kept on rewinding on the same track for no reason at all.

 

* * *

 

 

But that was okay, Lance managed to handle it pretty well, being a teenager and all. High school ended and Lance went off to university. Lance heard that Keith ended up in the same university as him, but thankfully they chose completely different majors and ended up in separate buildings, which were both at the other end of the campus. Lance didn't see Keith for four straight years so he was pretty happy.

Sooner than later, Lance managed to finish university and get his hard-earned degree and off to the real world he went.

He ended up getting a job shockingly fast, just two months after starting the search really! In the end, he decided to move downtown, closer to his job, a vet clinic slash shelter.

Three years passed by very quickly, a blink of an eye later and he managed to snag himself a great boyfriend. Shiro, who worked at the coffee shop part-time during the summer that was just a block away from the vet clinic.

Needless to say, their romance skyrocketed fast and just after two years, they moved in together.

Life for Lance had been going great, he's been winning for so long he forgot was losing felt like...until of course it came back to him in the harshest way possible.

 

* * *

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

 

 

The name flashed over Shiro's phone and Lance's heart sunk.

 

The reality of what was happening hit him quite a while ago...it was just... _it just started to sink in._

And it sunk down deep and fast, dragging every inch of confidence and trust and love he gained over the years down with it until not even the remains could be seen...just an endless darkness that swallowed everything it came across.

He thought- Lance really, really, **_reALLY_  **thought that he and- He thought that he and Shiro were perfect. He thought they were meant to be, he thought that they were - they were supposed to stay together, get married, adopt animals, adopt children and grow old and grey together!

They were supposed to move to a house by the beach when their skin was pruned and wrinkled, watch the sea and the stars in their backyard. They were supposed to tell stories and laugh - and be happy with their future grandchildren!

 

More than that though they were supposed to stay with each other, they were supposed to _be._

The phone continued to buzz and the name Keith Kogane continued to flash along with it.

He- Lance couldn't breathe, he didn't want to. He just...wanted it all to be over.

To others, it would seem like he was overreacting, a name was just flashing on his boyfriend's phone, it wasn't like he wasn't allowed to talk to others, he could talk to anyone he wanted! Really!

It was just that it was 2 AM in the morning and each and every day for the past weeks Shiro had been getting calls at the same from the same person.

 

Each.

 

And.

 

Every.

 

Day.

 

 

It wasn't hard to put two and two together. For the past two years they've been together Shiro had never, absolutely never, received a call in the middle of the night to come into the office.

At first, he accepted it, maybe it was just a new policy that had been implemented, but it was hard not to have doubts when it was always at the same time, always by the same person.

And those doubts, they grew big and dark, they weighed down his whole being, his body, his mind, his very soul! Until they threatened to consume him alive.

In the end, to calm himself and just ensure himself that everything was not like the vicious lies his mind created, he ended up hiring a detective. Specifically for the purpose of finding out what Shiro had been doing after leaving their house during the middle of the night.

He thought he'd see pictures of Shiro in his office. Sorting through the papers, typing down things on his laptop with his glasses on like he did at home, occasionally laughing and joking with his co-workers.

That's not what the pictures showed though.

They ended up showing sceneries of Keith and Shiro together, of them outside in the streets, hugging and holding hands walking down their park, Lance's and Shiro's - not Keith's and Shiro's. There were pictures of them kissing - one of Keith pressed against a brick wall with Shiro pressed against him.

He thought, - he hoped - that these were just thoughts! Just silly insecurities his mind built for the purpose of breaking down again and he wainted, waited for the pictures to arrive and look at them and realize that it was just that. A silly little insecurity.

Not a crushing reality.

But the pictures stood there on the kitchen counter, not changing or shifting to tell him that it was just an illusion. It was all just really, pure and cruel and horrible and soul-crushing reality.

He heard the tell-tale sign of the doorknob turning. A soft squeak before the bathroom door was opened. In a rush, he quickly shoved the pictures off the counter, right into the trash can.

"Hey, kitten? Everything all right?" He clenched his teeth - _it was sickening_ \- to hear the fake concern and fake affection and fake love and fake _everything_  pouring out of the lips of the man he thought loved him.

Plastering a fake smile - one he **KNEW** Shiro would not be able to see through - he turned out and nodded, "Yep! Everything's just peachy! Just got up to make a pot of coffee!"

Shiro's eyebrows rose up - his black, perfectly trimmed eyebrows that he knew Shiro kept under control by spending hours every week under their bathroom mirror - rose up. "Coffee?! At this time of day? Are you all right kitten? It's almost two o'clock!"

The concern in his voice made him want to vomit - it was fake, it /had/ to be, but if it was fake it meant everything was fake, it meant their relationship wasn't real from the very start and maybe, just maybe that's what it really was.

" 'Kashi! Remember! I told you that I had an emergency appointment five hours ago!" He _hadn't_ told Shiro anything five hours ago. "Oh yeah! Sorry, it must've slipped my mind but I am starting to remember you saying something like that!" **_Liar._**

"Anyway! Did the office call for you again?" Shiro closed his eyes and smiled apologetically - _he always closed his eyes when lying_ \- "Sorry kitten, the management has been really grinding down on us." _Has it really?_

Lance rose an eyebrow in return, smirking slightly and leaning back to the balls of his feet before pouncing, "I bet the management hasn't been grinding down on you as I've been lately!" They hadn't had sex in the **past three weeks.**

A groan escaped Shiro's lips "Kitten! Please...don't get me so excited I have to get to work!" _**Do you really?**_

"All right! All right! Hurry up and change, you don't want to be late!" Giving a quick peck on Shiro's cheek - _not one on his scar across his nose like he usually does_ \- he bounced over to the boiler and started it up.

The smell of coffee wafted through their apartment and the front door closed with an audible _click_

 

* * *

 

 

Sunlight shone through the cracks and crevices of their drawn curtains. Shiro still hadn't come back.

Lance couldn't help but wonder what they were doing this time, did they go to the park again- the very same one Lance and Shiro had their first date- or did they go to a restaurant or maybe they went to a club and got drunk and dance together, rubbing against each, showing everyone that they were together - _the exact same thing he and Shiro did_ \- and then go to a nearby hotel and just fucked the rest of the night away?

The stage had been set, everything was in perfect position. He got started right after finishing half a cup of coffee. The bed sheets were made, the laundry was hanged, their shoes were arranged, the TV was put on the usual channel Lance liked to watch after a late night appointment. _Everything was just like it usually was._

What was not usual was the stuffed backpack by the door, filled to the brim with fresh clothes, his wallet, his phone and every other necessity. 

What was not usual were the pictures of the kitchen counter, the ones of Keith and Shiro, with the exact date and location and in the back of each one were the words that Shiro told Lance he'd be doing.

Next to them was a small, black box. The very same one Shiro popped open down on his knees and asked him, **"Forever?"** Inside the box was the black rings with small blue diamonds embedded at the side - the ring that perfectly described Shiro and Lance - or so they've been told by their friends and Lance had thought. Forever apparently didn't last as long as he was taught. 

Now their so-called ring would be just that of a simple string of silver. A silver lining to be exact. Because in real life _no cloud actually had a silver lining._

Mind made up he grabbed his backpack and opened their front door - it would soon just be Shiro's - and left. He didn't bother locking it, Shiro would **_expect_** him to be home like he always was and he wanted Shiro to believe the illusion just a bit longer, just a tad bit longer before shattering his world the way **_Lance's was shattered._**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 


End file.
